Jennifer Stroman

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Overthinking is so Last Year

Overthinking and self-doubt go hand in hand.  Struggling to make a decision is a surefire way to water the seeds of self-doubt. Same goes for trying to make a decision that pleases someone else.  It is easy to get stuck in trying to make decisions, the back-and-forth, questioning yourself and building up self-doubt in the process.  

How do you stop this?  Short answer is, make a decision already!  Go with your gut decision.  Seems easy but how do you get to that point? 

First, realize you can’t control everything.  Trying to think things through 100 times can be your way of trying to control the outcome.  It is your attempt to prevent making a mistake, looking like a fool or failing.  Isn’t life about making mistakes and learning from them?  You have to step out of your comfort zone, if even just a little.  

Are you afraid to fail or look stupid?  Every single person you admire or look up to have failed, made mistakes and looked bad.  It taught invaluable lessons and helped them become the person you are inspired by.  So, stop trying to control everything!  You cannot foresee all possible scenarios in advance. 

Next, set time-limits to make decisions.  Give yourself a certain amount of time to make a decision and then take action!  This will prevent you from turning your thoughts around and around and overthinking everything.  This is a learned behavior.  You have to make a conscious choice to make a decision within a certain time limit. You learn to become better at making decisions quickly and to take action in your daily life regardless of how small or big the decision may be.  

For me, 30 seconds is all I allow myself to make a decision.  Whether I should respond to a message, clean the kitchen, make a call, etc., I make a decision within 30 seconds.  Your first reaction is always going to be your best since it typically comes from a place of intuition rather from than your ego! Yep!  I said it!  Your ego will play a huge part in your decision making. You worry and OVERTHINK because of your ego!  Outside opinions get in the way of making your decisions and that has to stop!  

Third, surround yourself with people who do not overthink.  Your social environment plays a huge part in your overthinking and self-doubt.  Who is in your circle?  Do they question everything?  Are they worriers?  Maybe they are energy vampires!  It is not just your inner circle that affects you.  It is people you interact with daily, groups, things you read, listen to and watch. 

Think about what you surround yourself with, near and far, that creates more overthinking for you. Think about who or what has the opposite effect on you. Find ways to spend more time with people who bring out the confidence in you.  Do less of what makes you second guess yourself.  Completely surround yourself with people and things that has a positive effect on your thinking. 

Last, take imperfect action!  Embrace the action habit, because inaction is way too expensive! Thinking and planning is always important, but taking action will get you to your long-term goal much faster.  Taking action will always beat having good intentions.  Committing to action is not making progress. 

“Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned.” -Peter Marshall

 Having intentions of doing something will not help you if you don’t actually follow through. Every time you put something off, you are asking to fail.  Nothing you do will help if you don’t start taking action! True failure is doing nothing.  Plus, momentum comes from action.  You can’t sit still and have momentum!  You must move!!  Momentum carries you, so taking imperfect action builds positive momentum. With momentum you’ll make progress much faster. Waiting is the least motivating thing you can do.

 “No feeling is final.”  - Rainer Maria Rilke

The same can be said about your decisions.  Make a decision and act on it.  You can always fine-tune it along the way. if fear creeps in, take smaller steps so you don’t allow yourself to get paralyzed in fear.  It’s time you become a person of action!  

 Make decisions in less than 30 seconds and take imperfect action today!  Go be awesome!

Love yourself - it’s the best love you will ever have.

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