There was a time where I was spammy and thought advertising my company and products was how this worked. I was a walking, talking billboard. Everything from my cover photo, profile photo, every post to the clothes I wore and the car I drove were a company. Not me. I thrived on the support and love of everyone in the company as we all walked and talked like company robots. We weren’t individuals anymore.

I looked at everyone as a sale and not someone I could impact. Yeah, I was trying to change their life, but the goal was to earn a paycheck!  I did want to help. It is my instinct to help, but the truth is, I wanted to succeed and sometimes my intentions were blurred.

I took offense to the fact that my family and friends didn’t “support” me and I took it upon myself to tell each of them why they were wrong. I look back now and am embarrassed by my behavior. What a loser I was to tell them what they should or should not like or do!

I compared myself with everyone (especially successful leaders) and beat myself down because I wasn’t as “good” as they were. I began to resent them and felt all kinds of bitterness toward them (including my own leaders). I could NOT be happy for another humans success, because it was not mine. 

I had the mentality that I couldn’t share anything I did to find success with anyone else for fear that they may be more successful. Scarcity is a real thing and I truly believed there was not enough sun for everyone.

I was selfish and insecure. I expected real results overnight... I had a microwave mentality. And you know what... I was MISERABLE. So incredibly unhappy with who I had become. I wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, smart enough or successful enough. I had the confidence on the outside but screamed insecurity inside.

I’m not proud of my past, but it made me who I am today and for that, I’m grateful. The truth is, everything we do takes time, real work and commitment. We must learn the skills necessary for our job and continue to perfect them daily. Nothing in life is handed to you and if you get lucky, that does not make you successful!!

I can’t pinpoint the moment I decided enough is enough, but I remember being scared. Scared of judgment, ridicule, losing friends and exclusion. I knew the changes would upset people and I was afraid to be better in fear that I would lose them. I made baby steps to invest in me and one day I woke up and said the hell with this. I AM better than this. I AM not a failure. I AM worthy of success. I AM changing. I AM courageous. I AM a badass!

I want to leave you with this... “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” -Winston Churchill

#TheUnicornLifestyle

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