It's All in Your Head
/Competition vs Collaboration
I may be all about the magical, but when I speak about scarcity and abundance, I am not referring to the law of attraction magical thinking side of things. I am referring to the psychological perspective and sharing my experience with but scarcity and abundance.
I believe the biggest downside to network marketing is the competition it instills in us. As much as a friendly competition is welcomed and even desired, the true root of competition is very negative and will hurt you in the end. Because we connect with the same people and sometimes even share the same networks, it’s easy to fall victim to the scarcity mindset.
Have you ever thought any of the following?
· “There’s too many reps!”
· “There’s not enough customers/orders/prospects!”
· “I can’t do this...Mary already signed everyone up!”
· “Everyone has already tried this.”
· “I wish I could...”
These are all negative thoughts stemmed from a scarcity mindset. This mindset affects us when we run for the next promotion, comment on posts, prospect, attempt to get a sale and even when we are working with our own team.
Scarcity vs Abundance Mindset
A scarcity mindset means you believe everything is limited. It revolves around the idea that there simply isn’t enough to go around. This causes anxiety to creep in. You begin to worry about your future and you subconsciously focus on what can go wrong instead of what is going right. You have a win-lose mentality. If someone is winning, you must be losing. You act out of fear and make decisions based on the false notion that there isn’t anything else coming, this is the end for you and you must protect what you have now.
This way of thinking prevents you from achieving your goals and dreams. It holds you back from success and financial freedom. You are focused on what you have and not what you can achieve, which holds you back from new opportunities and growth. Fear consumes you and instead of being the entrepreneur you know you can be, you begin to rethink your decisions. The scarcity mindset is a short-term way of thinking and it also creates some of the worst feelings you can experience: jealousy, envy, sadness and spite. A scarcity mindset leads to self-defeating behavior.
An Abundance Mindset means you believe there’s plenty for everyone. You truly believe there is enough happiness to go around and everyone can find success. There is always room at the table. You are optimistic and think things will always work itself out. Your actions are toward the future and you understand investing now will create the outcome you desire in the end.
This way of thinking allowing positivity to flow within your everyday life. You never feel as though someone winning is a bad thing. In fact, you celebrate their wins and cheer them along every step of the way. You know that their success does not take away from you. The abundance mindset is a long-term way of thinking. You see the vision, the Big Picture, and understand that just because you don’t have it now doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it or won’t have it in the future. An abundance mindset leads to self-fulfilling prophecy.
The Yuck: Jealousy, Envy, Sadness and Spite
Unfortunately, when you are in a place of lack, you are opening yourself up to some of the worst emotions. The scarcity mindset can manifest into jealousy, envy, sadness and spite, herein called “The Yuck.”
The Yuck does a few things:
· It creates resentment toward the success of others;
· It is tough to be happy for someone else’s win;
· It creates a territorial monster inside you;
· It affects everyone around you and doesn’t just hold you back, but others as well;
· It manifests into gossip, griping and “keeping score;” and
· It creates reluctance to collaborate.
When you allow The Yuck to take over, you become a very negative person. Your scarcity mindset is negative to the world at large and can be very damaging to those around you. You sabotage your success and in extreme cases, it sabotages the success of others.
Shifting from Competition to Collaboration
Everyone would rather have an abundance mindset. Not only does it provide financial relief, but it helps in every aspect of your life: skills, talents, friendships, romance and career. So, how do you change your mindset from scarcity to abundance? How do you stop competing and begin collaborating? There are many things you can do to adopt an abundance mindset and trash the scarcity mentality. Below are 7 steps that will help you make the shift from competition to collaboration.
DISCOVER THE TRUTH WITHIN
Why are you feeling this way? What is holding you back? Why do you feel threatened? Spend time meditating and praying alone about the way you feel. Look at yourself in a mirror… what is it that is pulling you down? Dig deep inside to find the root of the problem. Do you feel inadequate? Are you scared? Do you wish you could be like that?
Once you have a good idea about WHY you feel the way you do, it is necessary to pour into yourself. Personal development is crucial to have a happy, healthy life. Listen to positive affirmations, read an uplifting book, dig into your Bible or listen to a great podcast. Whatever you do, be sure it is fueling the abundance mindset and watering down the scarcity mindset.
TRAIN YOURSELF TO BE HAPPY FOR OTHERS
Train yourself to be happy for others. Recognize that their success does not affect you. You are not inadequate. It does not diminish you. Life is not a win-lose game. We can all win in the game of life. Create situations where everyone gets to shine, share and win. There are no losers.
Don’t allow jealousy to take over. Acknowledge other’s success and celebrate their wins with them. Applaud their achievements and recognize that you can be just as successful. Let it inspire you to push forward!
STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS
We compare ourselves at the times we feel the most insecure or inadequate. When thinking with a scarcity mindset, we only care how we compare to others. With an abundance mindset, we only compete with ourselves.
With the world of social media, comparison can be difficult. We compare our the behind the scenes version of our lives with the highlight reels of others on social media. We begin tearing ourselves down and sometimes we even compare our chapter one with someone’s chapter ten. We are defeating ourselves and preventing ourselves from moving forward.
Focus on yourself, your goals and accomplishments. Compete with only yourself. Push yourself to be better and do better every day. Don’t let envy guide your decisions. I promise those amazing images on social media do not reveal what is truly happening in someone’s life!
BE AN ABUNDANCE MAGNET
We used to tell our kids, “tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are.” This was simply saying, you gravitate toward people who are just like you. You also attract people who are like you. When you are in a scarcity mindset, you become a negative magnet. You can easily get sucked into drama and in most cases get in too deep before realizing it.
Choose to surround yourself with more positive, uplifting humans. Be an abundance magnet. Believe, speak and act with abundance. When you recognize a scarcity mindset, run the other way. Just like when you flip a magnet over, you must resist the pairing. Stick with abundance!
GIVE GRACE & MOVE FORWARD
When you are in a scarcity mindset, you become very sensitive and it’s easy to get hurt. You must forgive just as easily in order to release abundance. When you don’t forgive, you are seeking justice. This creates a quid-pro-quo. If you are seeking justice, you must accept justice too. An eye for an eye mentality.
When you forgive, you offer grace. Grace is always more than we deserve and better than we deserve. When we offer grace, we in return receive grace. This releases abundance. Forgiving others is not about them. It is about personal freedom and opening the doors of abundance. Forgiveness gives. Unforgiveness takes. Choose to give grace and move forward.
POSITIVE ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE
Sometimes life deals you a bad hand. I know this all too well!! Don’t allow the scarcity mindset take over. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking “life is unfair” and “they’re just lucky.” Yes, some people are naturally lucky, but I can guarantee most people you see as luckier than you have made huge sacrifices, seen many losses and persevered!
Whenever life deals you a crappy hand, focus on the positive! What good is coming from the situation? What lesson can you learn? It is easy to be overcome with negativity when things are bad. Reflect on all the positive things and keep them in the forefront of your mind. Be grateful always. I have an album on my computer labeled, “Happy Place.” My happy place holds photos, screenshots of comments or posts, videos and other mementos that make me smile, have tears of joy and refuel me! Anytime I am in a negative space, I open the album and within minutes I am smiling, laughing and/or crying! My “Happy Place”
HELP OTHERS/COLLABORATE
I love the Alabama song, “I’m in a hurry!” The chorus says: “I'm in a hurry to get things done; Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun; All I really gotta do is live and die But I'm in a hurry and don't know why.” Ever feel this way?Many of us feel pressured by those around us. We feel rushed and constantly feel as if there's never enough time to do what we want. We are in a place of lack and tend to turn inward. Stop that!
Spend time helping others and/or collaborating on a project. Help friends, your team, volunteer in the community or spend time helping your kids with a school project. When we help others, we feel good and our time seems “fuller.” We feel accomplished and life slows down a bit. This is abundance in action.
It’s funny, but you must teach yourself to share. Share your time, resources, abilities, knowledge and sometimes even money. When you have a surplus, share it! When you share, 3 things happen: you will feel good, you don’t miss what you shared and people are willing to share with you! Treat others how you would like to be treated and always come from a place of genuine collaboration.
Final Thoughts
When we don’t feel enough, we don’t think there’s enough. If you are envious of someone, they must be doing something you really wish you were doing. Instead of wishing, start acting. Be grateful for what you have, how far you have come and work toward being better in the future. Make the choice to spend less time worrying and more time focusing on all the magical things in your life.
Realize that sharing your ideas, helping others succeed and collaborating will elevate you every single time. When someone else has a win, celebrate with them. The universe has a way with being a boomerang. The old saying “what goes around, comes around” is all the truth you need. Give all you can give, regardless of what you get out of it, because in the end, karma will have the last word.
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10
Join Sparkle Unleashed or more tips, guidance and support at SparkleUnleashedCommunity.com. Or connect with Jennifer Stroman on Facebook!
