Avoiding Self-Sabotage – 3 Important Acts to Change Your Behavior

First, get the negativity out of your head.  It is easier said than done, but negative thoughts will tear you down!  If you constantly tell yourself you can’t do it, it won’t happen, someone else is better and so on, you will eventually BELIEVE those lies and belief in yourself is essential to being successful in any area of your life.

Stop the negativity and start asking yourself why? Why can’t you be successful? Why can’t it happen? What makes that person better? Because honestly, nothing makes them “better” than you… They may be more successful or have a bigger network, but they aren’t better. And honestly, why can’t you achieve your goals? The truth is, you can.

Second, you will always be fearful. Fear should drive you!  Every time I do a leadership training, upload a video, do a LIVE or get in front of a room, I get scared!  That is normal. One of our biggest fears is being judged, which you will be!  You will be judged!!  Remember, not everyone will love you.  In fact, not everyone will like you!  But there is a LARGE portion of people who do!  Focus on them…your tribe…those who believe in you, support you and love you.

And let’s talk haters!  Lord knows, there will always be haters.  People who cut you down, talk about you, act a fool, but be mindful that they are haters because they don’t like themselves or they are jealous…it has nothing to do with you personally.  We let them get in our head and we can’t do that.  We can’t listen to their voices or even our own negative voices.  We must rise above.  Keep your focus, ignore the noise and do it scared!

Last, have you heard of the Upper Limit?  Let’s chat about that!!  The upper limit is basically the limit that you allow yourself to feel happy and successful.  It is a success comfort zone!  Yes…we actually really have this!  Gay Hendricks says “Each of us has a limited tolerance for feeling good.”  So, when you are successful beyond your personal belief or things are happening that are amazing, you begin to subconsciously self-sabotage to get back to the comfort zone.  In order to avoid this, you need to be extremely aware of what is happening around you and prevent yourself from acting.  You will always face “upper limits” so be aware of your actions so you can ride the wave through these amazing life events.

When I spoke to a friend, she said this…. “When things are too good in my life, I try not to indulge too much.  I am afraid it won’t last, so I step away from it as not to be disappointed when it comes to an end. I go into self protection mode.”  We all do it, so be aware of your habits and distractions and stop them dead in their tracks.

Monitor your Negativity, Challenge your Fear and Recognize your Self-Sabotage.

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