Learning to Grow From Our Mistakes

“Forget the mistake. Remember the lesson.”

No matter where you are in the world, at some point in time, you’ve made a mistake. Whether it was something small like sleeping through your alarm or forgetting someone’s name or something much bigger like missing a deadline or hurting someone, we’ve all been there. Making mistakes is a universal inevitability of life; we are all bound to make them and likely struggle. But the most important thing is to learn how to forgive yourself, repent, and move on. 

How many times have you made a mistake and then beat yourself up thinking things like,

“How did I let that happen? I can’t believe I did that, again. What a ___ I am. If only I could go back and redo it all.”

There is nothing worse than knowing you made a mistake, that sinking feeling of regret and shame that comes with taking a misstep. However, shame, guilt, and pity are not the stepping stones to a happier life. Instead, those emotions will only keep you in that valley of depression, as this type of mindset is how you create suffering for yourself which is harmful to your growth in the long term. 

First things first, if you make a mistake, forgive yourself.

This is the utmost important rule to using your blunder as a tool for growth. Likely, you didn’t make the mistake on purpose and it was the culmination of some misinformation, misunderstanding, or not thinking it through. Or sometimes, we take a risk and it doesn’t turn out as we had hoped.

We’re all human — it happens!

Furthermore, most of us are harder on ourselves than we are on others. If you screw up, be kind to yourself. If one of your close friends made a mistake, would you beat them up for it or tell them they are a failure? I hope not, so don’t treat yourself worse than you would a friend.

If you would forgive someone else for doing what you did, then forgive yourself too. You deserve the same love and care that you would give someone else.

While it’s essential that you forgive yourself first, sometimes there are repercussions to our actions and the guilt of making a mistake stems from the way we have maybe caused damage or hurt to someone else. There is nothing wrong with feeling remorseful. If your mistake impacted someone else, an apology can go a long way. Often times, people just want to hear a genuine apology and to hear you acknowledge your wrong-doing. Do whatever you can to repair the harm and assure others that you won’t do it again.

But, don’t dwell on it.

Make what apologies you can and move on. 

Now here is the key piece: what did you learn?

Figure out how you can avoid making the same mistake again in the future; either by maybe thinking through your actions better or taking time to gather more information before you act.

If you switch your mindset to view mistakes as stepping stones to a more wisdom-filled life, your mistakes can instead fuel your awareness. Just know that no matter how badly you screw things up, there will always be another chance to make it right. We are all learning and growing and it’s impossible to always have it figured out. 

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